"Real" Bisexuality

So, I have thought alot about the common idea of "real" bisexuality, and who is or isn't really bisexual. When that damn Katy Perry song came out, I was frustrated as shit. My queer friends and I complained about "party lesbians" as we called them. Girls that only make out with other girls for male attention. Recently I've come to re-think my position about the "sometimes lesbian" (although not necessarily the action of wearing ANY kind of sexuality only to titillate men; more on this later in the post).

Bi Erasure

So today I found this fantastic guest post over at Feministing about feeling invisible as a member of the queer community when dating a member of the opposite sex (or the sex opposite to how you present). A few of the comments relate this to the idea of bi erasure.

Although I haven't had many relationships with women, I do feel like the fact that I'm dating a man removes me from a certain aspect of my community. I DO feel invisible on a fairly regular basis, and I've definitely felt the "we-don't-need-your-patronizing-smile-of-acceptance-straight-girl" stare when I smile at queer couples in an attempt to make a silent connection. I recently gave away my queer pride pin to a friend who lives in a city where she is less likely to find such an accessory, but even when I had it, it felt too small to make the kind of visibility statement that I want to make.

"How Can You Be Bisexual If You're Dating a Man?". On Not Picking A Side.

In the 1940's, a groundbreaking way of discussing human sexual orientation was developed. You might remember, they made a movie about it. The scale goes from 0-6, with 0 representing exclusive heterosexuality and 6 representing exclusive homosexuality. This spectrum of sex is pretty well known, I think. And yet, I am astounded by how many otherwise intelligent and thoughtful people forget that there are several numbers between zero and six.