Welcome To My Business, Seriously.

OK, if you are not a fan of TMI, I recommend that you probably shouldn't read this cause I am going to invite you into my personal life in a way that involves periods. Stop reading now if periods gross you out! Or, you know, educate yourself. Whatever.



Now then! Here is the story. When Boyfriend and I started seeing each other long distance, I went on the pill. I do not want babies. That will be a different post (my annoyance with the "ohhhhh some day you'll understand that all any woman wants is to be barefoot and pregnant or possibly also overworked because as a working mother you will be expected to EXCEL at your career while also being the primary caregiver to a horde of tiny people and if you're not perfect at both everyone will look at you like you eat baby kittens for breakfast" attitude). But to put it simply, yeah, I don't want kids. They're not part of my life plan. Sex is a pretty big part of my life plan, though, particularly with Boyfriend. So I went on the pill. I went on the pill that my GP had lying around his office because that shit is free and I was barely even working at that point.

I don't remember too much about my period before the pill. But while on the pill, my periods became hell on wheels after a time. I would have cramps so bad I was on the floor crying. I got flu-like symptoms including vomiting and fever. For about two days a month I was miserable as I could remember ever being, physically speaking. Ok, well, the kidney infection was worse, and so was the bronchitis/pneumonia from last spring, but still! It was pretty fucking bad. Then, this fall, the psychological business started. There was a time this past autumn where I was so depressed I spent basically all my time crying, or being ready to cry. I cried on the bus to work, I cried at work, I cried on the bus home, then I cried myself to sleep. I hated my job, and I was just SO SAD ALL THE TIME. I came to a point where I was having cravings to self-harm like I did in my past when shit when wrong. Were it not for Boyfriend, I would have given in to those compulsions. He's basically the only reason I came out of that dark time without a ream of new scars.

Then, about two months ago, I ran out of money to pay for my HBC scrip. So I just stopped taking it. I discussed it with BF, and (after seeing the look on his face and reassuring him that we would continue with barrier methods etc) then I just stopped taking the pill. About a month later I had a period. It snuck up on me. I decided to wait until the next period to start counting days and all that whatnot, because I assumed that my cycle would be a little off thanks to two years of ingesting hormones. I figured that was also the reason that I had almost no cramps and an incredibly light flow of blood. I was also happier, and my sex drive had come back. Flash forward to today. I was used to Shark Week beginning on Tuesday or Wednesday, after a few days of inexplicable irritation, bloating and cramps. So naturally I was surprised when, once again, Aunt Flo arrived with nary a cramp. No headaches, no back and leg pain. I can stand up straight! I don't need hot tea and a hot water bottle! Boyfriend doesn't have to hide in fear or walk on eggshells to keep from having his head bitten off!

Basically, going off the pill has made only positive changes to my life. Still no babies, and also significantly less pain and misery. Now, there is some research that's leading people to suspect that the state of non-child-bearing that many modern young women have the pleasure of enjoying may be harder on our bodies because we're having way more menstrual cycles than our predecessors, so pills like Seasonique or injections like Depo might have some place in my future, but for now Hormonal Birth Control can go suck an egg. Diaphragm here I friggin' come!